Ramblings...

Last week we celebrated D’s birthday. We had just arrived at the steakhouse when I received a text from one of his coworkers asking if we would go out later that night to celebrate. I was not opposed to it so a few hours later we met up with a few of his friends.

In some ways it was déjà vu. When we first got married, he would bring me out with him after work to meet up with “the boys” for drinks. Other days it was for a bite to eat at Chipotle. Either way, we always ended up staying for hours just talking about their jobs. At first, everything they talked about went in one ear and out the other. What did I know about cables, cameras, mics or replays? I barely knew how media production even worked. It was like a foreign language. I would nod every now and then and pretend to be interested. However, after a few years of this I began to pick up on some things, like how they got “crewed” for a show. What positions there were (utility, camera op, A2, A1, RO, lead tape, AD, TD, director, producer…the list goes on), what their job description was (for example utility-you better know how to wrap a cable right!), what types of shows they were on (anywhere from sports to corporate shows to festivals…you name it) etc. Now, 6 years later and here I am, pretty proud of myself for knowing some basics so that I can insert a comment here and there and remain a part of their conversations. It’s amazing how much I have learned about their work by just sitting back and listening.

Being married to a freelancer is one of the hardest things in my life. I probably sound like a broken record. You maybe have even heard me bitch once or twice about it. As a wife, you truly never know what will get thrown your way. Whether it’s a phone call from D the day before a family event saying something like “sorry, I told someone I’d cover for them so I can’t make it to your family’s thanksgiving.” Or knowing you will be attending the majority of your friends’ weddings dateless and alone because there’s no way he’s going to give up a day of work. It might even be something along the lines of he forgot it was your wedding anniversary and he booked himself a gig for the evening, or “I can’t plan anything for the holidays it’s only October!”

 Being flexible in this working lifestyle is by far one of the most important things I have ever learned since I started dating D. You, as a wife, a significant other, will get your feelings hurt. Your plans are constantly changing. And, you are alone 80% of the time. Yet, when you take a step back and look at the big picture, you see that you are with one of the hardest working, motivated, and intelligent people on the planet. Really, I’m not just saying that because I am bias (well maybe a little, I mean, he has a cute ass..) and  he’s my husband. It’s not just him, almost everyone in this business has a similar work ethic. I have a respect for them that I sometimes cannot express in words. They get excited about their job, they love what they do, literally over 95% of the time, and even if they have issues or something to complain about (which is rare) it’s never an option to quit. Their pros outweigh any con that they might have. I have seen more than one person work from the ground up, and it is incredible watching their growth and the work that they do. I wish every career and occupation had people like them working as hard as they do.

As difficult as it can be to be married to a guy like D, in a career like his, I would take him any day over someone who did not care about where they were going or what they were doing. I may have to attend a wedding solo, or go to family functions alone, and my friends and family may never truly understand, but at least I know we’re going somewhere in life. I have a pretty great husband working hard for our future. When I married him, I married his job. This industry can be brutal, but to be able to watch him and listen to him get excited about his work, hear pride in his voice over his accomplishments, makes every single sleepless night alone worth it. If he’s happy, why not be happy too? For sure, that’s easier said than done, but it’s hard not to be happy for them when you start to understand how freelance works, and what they actually do.